Look for the calm within yourself

In an age of anxiety and stress, we can forget what calm feels like, or even question how we'd recognise it if we found it. Here's some ways to find your inner calm.

#innercalm #centredself

• Identify the values that are important to you. They are the framework that informs and guides your life choices

• Take responsibility for your decisions but know what's in your control and what is out of your control so that you don't have unrealistic expectations

• Create or find a space for reflection and recharging but also for self-care. It may be in your home, your office, or out in the environment somewhere. Your special place may incorporate certain furniture, lighting, scents, pictures, music, tactile objects, or perhaps just sounds, smells and visual aspects of the natural environment. Make sure you spend regular time in this space.

• Ensure you have a supportive social network. It does not have to be large. The quality of social interaction is more important than numbers. Having a "tribe" can offset unavoidable interactions with people who are not a good fit with you.

• Replace excessive self-blame with a curiosity about what you could do differently next time.

• Approach new situations with a certain level of openness and curiosity rather than carrying negative assumptions or predictions.

• Instead of focussing on trying to get people to like you, develop an appreciative sense of who you are, and that you are neither more nor less than anyone else.

• Know the difference between striving for excellence and setting your bar unrealistically high. Balance your efforts with moments of repose, reflection and appreciation of the steps of achievement you have already managed.

• Identify the positive things you have experienced in your life. When we are feeling stressed, we tend to create a narrative of previous failures or stuff-ups and forget the successes and positive feedback we have had in the past.

• Try to be aware of times when you're spending too much time in your head. Bringing ourselves into the physical body through the senses is key to well-being. The senses of seeing, hearing, smelling, touching and tasting help us to focus on something other than the thoughts that cycle through our brain. Physical movement is a great mental stress release, so a simple walk, breathing exercises, a swim, a run, a surf, a bike ride or a hike may be ideal for bringing a sense of balance. Allowing ourselves to experience moments of "flow" helps us to experience our essence.

• Trust yourself to manage what you need to do and that you have the capacity and resilience to face a challenge, one step at a time. Also acknowledging that you are not an island and can ask for help, can impart a sense of support and calm.

#keystoinnercalm #findingpeace #findingself